A tale of bike parts and bike shops

by Rebecca Lambchop Reilly

I had Megawati, the track bike I won at the 2000 CMWC, shipped here to the land of the rising Shimano. It makes sense that Megawati should join me in Okinawa since she's named after the former president of Indonesia. So I freaked for weeks praying that on her trip around the globe Megawati wouldn't lose and necessary bolts. Actually all 5 bolts on a track bike are necessary. When the day finally came that Megawati showed up at the post office a new fear gripped me...what if something should break??

Okinawa, despite the fact that it is dominated by the land of the rising Shimano, has some super shitty bike shops. See in Okinawa more grandmoms, granddads and grammar school kids ride bike than cool 35 year old track bike snobs like myself. Oddly, stores cater to these people. So when you go into a typical bike shop here you find relics like 27 inch wheels, millions of 3-speeds, plastic pedals and whip locks. You know those lame combination shits from the 70's that you could break open if you pulled hard enough. (I hope Kryptonite isn't planning on replacing locks with those) A cold chill went down my spine as I looked at my beautiful Phils. High phlange, 32 spokes worth of sex appeal. Well, Phil was going to have to be faithful because he's stuck with me on this island for a year. Well, Phil has always treated me well in the past and yes, these hubs are about 4 years old, but Megawati really only messed for a year. Then I shivered thinking about the bottom bracket.

Buying equipment from even the better bike shops here can prove problematic. See, even though I've been here a year, my Japanese still sucks. I bought a cute little handheld computer that eats English words and pukes out words in 10 different languages. Sometimes you can't really get your point across though. It took about 10 minutes of haggling to purchase a chain breaker last time. I shudder at the thought of the day when I have to replace the headset. First off I don't know what size it is, then I have to get the dude-san to figure that out for me without him insisting on installing it. OY! Then tools! A six pack of beer will be an essential auxillary purchase.

I did actually find a track bike rider-san. He was at this semi-cool bike shop with some dope Italian Mamas in the window. there was a Bottechia that put tears in my eyes. After looking around and drooling on 1/2 of the merchandise we left regretting that we didn't make more money and as we stepped out i saw spry Panasonic track bike hitched to a pipe outside the shop. The old girl would be in high school if she was human and she winked at me with her flirty beige paint job. So I dragged bike shop guy-san out of the shop and introduced him to Megawati. We watched bike TV and oohhed and aahhed in both Japanese and English. So at least now i know where I can go if I really get in trouble. Hopefully if I ask for chain whip I won't get a cone wrench.

I'm starting to calm down about the parts situation here in the land of the rising Shimano. A month ago I remarked to myself, "Hmmm, I've had the same chain on this bike for 4 years...it's really past it's expiration date." After each winter of Megawati's life, Toronto, Buffalo, DC, I took links out of that ancient 3 speed chain because it stretched that much. That same day I remarked how old my chain was and how much I needed to change it, it broke. Now I was going about 25 mph down a hill when it happened and needless to say, there was no stopping until I reached the bottom. The result was the chain wrapped around the cog like wire on a spool and closest to the teeth, the links were misshapen beyond recognition. Even dental records would not have helped. There was no taking a link out to put the chain back together.

So I cried and fussed and damned my bad luck that now I was hobbled, wings clipped, hands cut off, heartbroken. I pined about where on earth I'd find a chain and a chain tool since i couldn't leave base just to go to a bike shop. I went to the PX and expected nothing. I actually had thoughts of buying a whole bike, just to get the chain. I didn't do it though because I couldn't be caught dead rolling a huffy out of the PX. Someone might see and tell. I would be the laughing stock of the messenger world overnight. I just knew it. I did find a chain. It was a chain for a kids bike. So I bought it and asked the ancestors to help me find a way to make this thing work even though I didn't have a chain tool.

Well it turns out that Jr's bmx takes exactly the same length chain as my bitchin' track bike. To make matters even better it had a master link.

Megawati has kept quiet about the huffy chain, she knows it embarrasses me. the only time you can tell is when we climb a hill and Mega creaks like sturmey archer found dead in a the rubble of a garage fire. It's hard for me because it's like looking at the lovely face of Gweneth Paltrow and hearing that God awful voice come out. It just doesn't fit. Oh well, the bike is again a force in readiness.

I've decided that since I'm single I'm going to try to pick up some Keiren racer-san. Shameless I know, to go after a guy for his bicycle. But a girl's got to have spare parts!

Lambchop Monthly