With the promise of plane tickets to Toronto for the Dunhill velodrome race, cities around the world held alleycat races on the eve of the day of Saint Valentine. Most of these races were unimaginatively labeled "massacres". Not the one in DC. Our race was called the St. Valentine's Alleycat Scramble. Ok, so that's not very creative either but one thing's for sure, nobody in the DC race was injured or -- gasp -- massacred.

The race started and finished at Madam's Organ, where the ale poured freely and the couriers got naked... At 7pm the pick-up address was anounced, and everyone tore off towards Dupont Circle. There, riders were handed a list of 20 addresses, all worth varrying points depending on distance and degree of dificulty. In addition, there were ten ways to get bonus points by performing various tasks, such as drinking a beer at the Crow Bar, delivering a rose, making a xerox, fixing a flat at City Bikes, and getting a subway transfer. There was a bike toss where a bike was provided for racers to throw at 3 points per foot, an elevator ride in the Press Building, a moving car rendezvous worth 50 points, and a photo shop "triple". All checkpoints closed at 8 and manifests had to be turned in by 8:15 to be counted.

Most enthusiastic rider award went to Zack "Doo-Doo" Brown, who strapped a case of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale onto his rack, and enlisted the help of Big Greg and Little John to help him lighten his load. The trio managed to navigate their way across pretty much the entire length of the course, from Georgetown to Capital Hill, barely missed the 8:15 deadline, and managed to drink 23 of 24 beers, dropping only one during a missed hand off. Top BMX rider in the race was Darrell Vaughn and top female was Laura "over the mogul" Vogel. The total amount of points available, bonuses included, was 500, it was physically impossible to get to all of the checkpoints within the time limit, and nobody rode a "perfect" route, if there even was such a thing. Even the winner, Chris Shmidt could have scored much higher if he had finished the photo triple. Dedric came in second by a mere 2 points, and would have won had he not intetionally passed up on the bike toss, "I was like, fuck it, I can't throw a bike...". 19 points seperated the next 5 finishers, with everybody trying to figure out where they could have made up the difference.

It was agreed that the new points format made for the most fun and competitive race yet, and even though there were more people working the many checkpoints than actually racing, the crowd at Madam's Organ managed to create quite a ruckus. By the time of the awards ceremony, Little John, Dave and Zack were buck naked, acting as the lovely prize boys, and generally being rude, crude and belidgerant. Thankfully our hosts at Madam's were more than cool, and instead of freaking out just asked they guys to get dressed and asked tobe informed if any women were getting naked, not to throw out, but to get a look themselves.